When an over-achiever (that would be me) falls prey to a season of under-achieving (that’s where I’ve found myself too often lately), it is very easy to feel like a failure. A failure in so many areas we work so hard to perfect.
For me that equates to failure as a wife, as a mother, as a homeschool teacher, even as a ministry assistant to my husband, and in so many other ways as well (does diet and exercise ring a bell?).
I’m always second guessing myself over rash decisions I’ve made. Mentally beating myself up because I forgot to pay the electric bill, or to defrost the chicken needed for dinner, or to wash my husband’s work clothes (and it’s now 7:00 a.m. and the poor guy has no clean pants for work). Talk about making a girl feel like a lousy wife… ughhhh!
And then there’s that Christmas tree, over a month post-Christmas, still perfectly perched in a corner of my living room, fully decorated, screaming for me to please stop long enough to pack it up and put it away. Oh the shame!
These things are only the first to enter my thoughts. I could go on and on about what I should be doing right now, yet I know in my heart I am doing exactly what I am meant to be doing at this moment. I’m taking time out of the busyness around me to write this blog post because it somehow helps me sort through the boggled feelings surfacing in my mind. I pray that maybe, just maybe, it will help you to know you are not alone in your struggles either.
As nice as it is to think about taking a break from my hectic schedule, the reality is I will continue to be busy for a long while. Yes, as long as I have a family to care for, and a home to keep up, and school to teach, and church to attend, and a blog to write, I will not escape busyness. But there are some things I can implement to help me through this season of busyness, and to alleviate these feelings of failure and disappointment pointed toward myself.
I must continually remind myself that although I may not be running every single race at full potential, I am not a failure. I am still moving forward, one tiny step after another. My progress may be slow. It may seem non-existent at times. But I am still in the race. I have not given up.
Friends, if you’re not accomplishing what you know you should; if those important things are not getting done, pause for a moment. Take a deep breath. Rethink your strategies. Give yourself some much needed grace. And most importantly, pray for strength and wisdom (we’ve talked before about the importance of sitting at the feet of Jesus).
Oh, and it never hurts to throw in a good cup of coffee with a trusted friend.
Smiles and hugs to each of you today. Never give up!