Dear Child of Mine:
I know you dislike me saying no to your ideas for fun and adventure. You see my “no” as an unwelcome interruption to your plans. Especially when everyone else is going there, and doing that, and wearing such things as they do. Yes, I am keenly aware that when I say no, it hurts a bit. And I’m so sorry. The last thing I want is for you to be hurt, or to feel left out, or to miss out on the friendships that await you. Yet when a “yes” is not best for you, I must stick with my “no”, however unpopular it may be.
I understand that other parents aren’t always bothered by the things that concern me. Sometimes I may err on the side of caution more than others think I should. Sometimes I must listen to that uneasy feeling that surfaces in my mind, in my heart, even though I cannot fully explain it. Sometimes, my child, I simply need you to trust me. To know that even though I will not always make the right decisions, every decision I make is made out of my deep love for you. Can you trust that’s true, my child? Oh, how I pray that you do.
I am confident that one day, when you are older and have children of your own, you will better grasp these matters. In the meantime, I pray that you’ll begin to notice my yes’s a little more – and be grateful for them. And may you learn to look at my no a little differently too. Perhaps you will realize that maybe, just maybe, there is something good hidden beneath momma’s no, possibly even a blessing in disguise. Wouldn’t that be awesome!
As I speak these words to you, my precious child, I can’t help but hear God speak them back to me. You see, in God’s eyes, I am a child as well – His child. And as His child, I am sometimes troubled when His answer to me is no. But through the years, I’ve come to realize that when He says no to my plans, He is placing me in the perfect position to experience something better. A beautiful blessing I would have missed had He not said no earlier.
So I am learning to trust Him more, and I pray that you’ll do the same. That you’ll learn to trust this momma who loves you so very much. And that you’ll learn to trust God who loves you even more than this momma of yours can.
Oh, how I love you, sweet child of mine.
2 thoughts on “Mail.on.Mondays: Dear Child of Mine”
Being a mother isn’t easy. Keep listening to your intuition. <3
So true. And yes, I’m beginning to trust that intuition a little better than in my earlier years.