I began the year struggling with what felt like a new purpose. With fresh goals in mind and a lofty to-do list in hand, you’d think I had it all figured out. Instead, confusion and overwhelm gripped my heart.
There was so much to do! Who was I to think I could ever pull off such big goals? Where would I even begin? How could I ever hope to see these tasks to completion?
My thoughts filled with all the reasons I would never make it as a writer, but instead of setting everything aside in defeat, I chose to circle back to the source of my calling. I needed a fresh word from the Lord. Nothing else would do.
Choosing to rely less on the conflicting voices of the experts and more on the still, small voice of God, I began to pray a specific prayer. I asked God to show me which goal to pursue and where to exert my energy. As I prayed, I studied His word; I sought His answer. Those prayers led me to two important actions: choosing a focus verse and fully surrendering to His will.
Scripture as My Focus
Have you ever read the Bible and felt a verse or passage was meant especially for you? That’s what happened as I searched the Scripture for clarity and guidance over my year. God used a verse in Philippians to remind me that in the end, only one thing will truly matter: had I lived my life worthy of His goodness?
“Just one thing: As citizens of heaven, live your life worthy of the gospel of Christ.” Philippians 1:27a
When I began to focus on living out that one truth rather than staring at the massive list of things I “should” be doing, peace began to settle over me. I became less overwhelmed by the do’s and don’ts of the industry and more content to follow His lead. I imagine Martha felt this peace, too, once she began to focus more on her relationship with Christ and less on all.the.things.
Surrender as My Goal
Have you ever known deep inside that your calling would require more of you than you wanted to give? I’ve wrestled with those feelings. I’ve known (and feared) that my writing would lead to more than sitting at a keyboard, typing out words. I felt certain that one day I would stand before a group of women, delivering a message to them in person, not just on the other side of a computer screen.
Instead of embracing that possibility, I ignored it. The thought of becoming a writer-who-speaks absolutely terrified me. Surely God wouldn’t ask me to do something I felt so incapable of doing. Yet, there He was asking me to do the very thing I had always believed I could never do. In His great love, He allowed me to process this idea for a long while before setting it in motion. What a loving God we serve!
Friend, what is it God has been asking of you?
What dreams has He been whispering in your ear?
What bigger-than-you purpose has He been drawing you toward?
Seek Him. Pray with intent. Fully surrender.
Those first few steps may feel scary, but I promise, He can be trusted.